it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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