Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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