Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
