Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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