I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
