Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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