If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
