remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize