Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize