I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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