I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
