Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize