It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize