First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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