The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
