Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
