my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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