so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
