STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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