ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
