I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
