She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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