dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm at about main and main street
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
