Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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