Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
