If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
