So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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