Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
