sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
