Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize