tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
