At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
