At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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