R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
