I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
