like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
