May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
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I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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