I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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