I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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