i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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