they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's always time for handjobs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize