I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
do nipples grow back?
Randomize