just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
