When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
