I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
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Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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