Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
