i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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