Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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