Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
