I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
