Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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