just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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