Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
