THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
