So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
