If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
