i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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