do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
