I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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