I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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