i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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