I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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