Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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