the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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