I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Randomize
