i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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