he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
