I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well I just put wine in my tea
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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