It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
