considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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